Healing as I go - June 2013

June started out pretty well. I was happy to be moving around a little more taking my pain meds a little less and finally being able it eat a little as I had been on the liquid stage till the end of March and then started some purees and then was told about mid June I could finally try some solid foods. Since I still had to be on my feeding and G tubes 16 hours a day I mostly only moved from the couch to the bathroom or to the kitchen. I tried to make my family meals but with the tubes I usually ended up with the dry heaves or as many call it foamies. Used my hand weights to get my exercise in while sitting and my husband would drag my pole up and down the street almost daily so that I could walk as much as I could handle. I felt very weak even though my feeding were mostly protein. I still was unable to drink a full protein shake a day but I did my best to at least get half.

Since I spent a lot of time sitting I decided to make use of it by doing as much research as possible to learn as much as I could about my new life change. I had read a lot about the surgery and what was involved before going under the knife but now I wanted to know it all. I started sharing links on my page so that I could go back and study what I had read and to share with others information that they themselves may not know.

 One of my first questions was,  Why do we have to wait between eating and drinking ? Well I found a link that explained it perfectly at friends don't let friends drink and eat

Facebook post:

June 4th 2013: "I never imagined being able to walk around Wal-mart would ever be considered an achievement till I lost that ability. Well today I can say I DID IT!!!! To most that means nothing but to me it's another sign that I'm getting stronger. Feeling blessed"

June 5th: "It's so hard to make the big yummy dinner I promised my family last night when I'm so nauseated but a promise is a promise. Making some beef brisket, loaded mashed potatoes, and steamed veggies...."

*In the condition I was in it was so hard not being able to do the things that had come so easily before. It was even harder not to fall into a deep depression many nights when my family was sound asleep in their beds I would cry because I felt so useless. I had been a mother for 14 years and had always been the one taking care of everybody and at this point I couldn't even take care of myself. My children and or husband had to prepare my bag for my feeding tube, they got my food/ broth or cream of something soup for me and sometimes even prepared dinner for the family. Even my husband had to unclog my tubes when they got stuck because my strength was gone. It seemed like I always got sick in the middle of the night and my husband would coming running out of the bedroom making sure I was going to be o.k. on nights he didn't have to work he would even sleep beside me on the couch in case I needed him for anything.

June 10th: "Loving how all my kiddies are camped out in the living room with me. One month ago today I was discharged from the hospital. I've made quite a bit of progress but still have a long road ahead of me. Still have my feeding and g tubes in but pray they came out soon so I can finally take a long soak in the tub and FINALLY get to sleep in my own bed and not in the living room in a recliner. And go swimming!!!!!!!"

*It seemed like everybody took turns camping out beside me even my new little companion Brutus. Thought for sure since James had gotten his as a little pup just before I left for India there was no way he would remember me but he did. He stayed by my side like he understood something was wrong. And James was right puppies sure have a way of making you feel better.

*This was one post I remember re posting a lot. I tried not to keep asking Why me? I just tried to grin and bare it and kept looking towards the future.

June 12: Getting my first real takeout meal. Refried beans, drowned in cheese dip and topped with black olives.... my mouth is watering YUMMMMM!!! Headed home to eat and watch some Nurse Jackie while the lucky ones veg out in the pool.

June 13th: Went to my nutritionist and post op appts this afternoon and got great news at both places. I'm down another 5lbs, all my labs came back at good levels, he cut my feeding tube back to only 8hrs a day. On the other hand I still have both tubes (but he rescheduled me for the 27th to see about removing them both!!!!) And lastly I had to have 2 stitches to hold my feeding tube since Nick accidentally ripped them out the other day. Other than that things are pretty good still nauseated when I wake in the morning and I still have pain at night.

June 14th: It's hard not to feel like a horrible mom when this is the fist summer where we haven't done anything. No park, lake, adventure, nothing. And its all because of a selfish decision. When I finally do get well enough to get around we have got alot of time to make up. It's really hard trying not to feel depressed when I cant join in the fun.

June 17th: Vinny and Santana making dinner all by themselves can't wait till it's finished.

*Dinner is done. Cheesy hash brown casserole. Vinny even sauteed some onions for it. They did such a great job!! I'm so Proud of my children. I did try a tiny bit and had to chew, chew, chew it till it was bout liquefied but they do a great job.

June 21st: Vinny and I made baked crab cakes and tarter sauce from scratch. (I will start sharing recipes soon)

June 25th: "Super yummy!! My double stuffed mushroom Swiss burger. Mmmmmmmm. Nothing like grilling burgers on a nice day. Made the others bacon triple cheese stuffed burgers. All bellies are full."

*I made these with ground lean steak and was only able to eat about 1/4 of mine.

 June 27th: Early appointment with my nutritionist this morning. Really starting to enjoy stepping on the scale for weight ins. Praying that tomorrow's appointment with my surgeon goes well and I get these tubes out. Life will be so much better once they are gone.

*Great visit!!! Nutritionist says I'm at 48% loss to my goal weight of 125. She says it usually takes 6 mos to get 50% but due to my complications I got there faster but I'm doing amazingly well and healing faster than expected (her words exactly) So HAPPY!!!!!!!!

June 28th: Really excited this morning. Appointment with my surgeon in a couple hours. I REALLY want my tubes OUT!!! Wish me luck.

*With a heavy heart I have to say the tubes are still there. Next appt July 10th.

June 30th: My sweet daughter took it upon herself to research protein shakes to help me keep my levels up. She surprised me with a peanut butter banana shake and it was honestly REALLY GOOD!! Thank you baby girl I couldn't ask for a better more caring daughter.

What a month June was. I went from the pureed stage to finally getting to have some solid foods. My nutritionist told me it would more than likely be a year before I could handle steak but I ended up being one of the few that could. of course I could only handle about an ounce per setting but it was helping keep my protein up since I was having trouble drinking a whole protein shake. I entered July with high hopes of finally having those tubes out. Will they finally come out? Well that will be in my next post. Hope you continue to follow along.